Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
