dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
