bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
