I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
