i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
