Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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