Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
do herpes really smell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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