$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
