fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
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Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
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speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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