Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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