Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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