STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
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