suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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