Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
My cat gives me a boner
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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