I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
