No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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