Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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