she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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