he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
