dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
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i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I can't turn off my feet"
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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