Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
