first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
So vagazzling was a success
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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