I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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