So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
