I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
