turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize