You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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