i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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