the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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