i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
