...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
