Its about making memories worth repressing
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
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I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
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Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.