In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
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Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
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My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.