So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter