my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
