I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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