just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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