I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
