I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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