I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Non-Jews are for practice
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
