I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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