Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
