my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
