I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
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I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
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