I would go down on you faster than GM stock
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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