whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
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