He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I wish my penis had an off switch
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
