If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
