So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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