I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
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