it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
