Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
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My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
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Strip Mario-Kart
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
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I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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