you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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