you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
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By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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