I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
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