y did u give ur computer a hand job?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
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