I think scott just propositioned me for sex
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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