Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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