why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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