I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize