Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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