we have officially lost it.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize