Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
