But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
