Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
