I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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