I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
