hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
