I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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